Murder: A Medicine Cat Falls
by Riverspirit456
Summary: Dawnflame wakes in a void, greeted by an old friend. Little does she know that she will now have to relive her past...and face judgement for her actions. *Warning: Immense Sadness! XD


Murder

A Medicine Cat Falls

I opened my eyes to a black void. My breath came in staggered gasps, and my fur stood on end. I could feel ground beneath me. It was smooth and cold, yet I could not see it. _Where am I?_ I wondered, swinging my head left and right. Blackness stretched out around me. The silence grew deafening; the only sound was my beating heart, racing ever faster.

I rose to my paws shakily.

"Hello?" my voice rang out, echoing in the empty space. I shivered. "Please, tell me where I am!"

"Dawnflame."

My eyes widened at the sound of the voice. A light like the sun burst out in front of me, and I squinted against the sudden glare. A silhouette melted into view, and my heart skipped a beat when I realized who the newcomer was.

"Leafpool!" I cried. "I'm so happy to see you! Where am I? Why is my memory so hazy?!"

I remembered seeing the tabby she-cat in my dreams. She had been my companion through my years as a medicine cat apprentice. She had been at my ceremony. I had come to see her as a second mentor. Yet when I looked at her face, I didn't recognize her at all. Her gentle amber eyes had grown cold, with an angry fire burning in their depths.

"You are here in the Void to receive punishment, Dawnflame."

My blood ran cold.

"Punishment…" I repeated numbly. I didn't understand. _What did I do?!_

"Let me refresh your memory."

The tabby Starclan she-cat leaned forward and touched her nose to my forehead. I gasped as white light engulfed my vision, and a sense of vertigo engulfed me. I fell forward for a moment, then abruptly stood upright. I shook my head to clear the feeling.

"Look, Dawnflame." Leafpool said, standing beside me.

I looked forward and saw myself walking through the forest at night. My eyes widened. _This must be a memory. _

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Dawnflame slipped from one bush to the next, glancing behind her occasionally. She placed her paws carefully, never making a sound. All was still as she crept toward the Shadowclan border.

As she reached the scent markers, she pricked her ears and tasted the air. His scent drifted to her nose and her heart fluttered with excitement.

"Pineclaw?" She called quietly.

The dark grey tom emerged from a bush on the other side of the border. He smiled when he spotted her and padded forward, touching noses.

"Sorry, I'm a little late." Dawnflame mewed.

"I'm patient." Pineclaw laughed.

He withdrew and glanced behind her. "Are you sure you weren't followed?" He asked nervously. Dawnflame flicked his nose with her tail.

"I may be a medicine cat but that doesn't mean I don't have any warriors skills. We have to go through hunting and fighting training too, you know."

Pineclaw grinned.

"Oh yeah? Well show me your moves then, Oh mighty medicine cat!"

Dawnflame laughed and leapt at the Shadowclan tom.

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.

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"I remember him…" I murmured, staring at the scene with wide eyes. Without realizing, tears had formed and were streaming down my cheeks. I blinked and looked away, sniffing. "Pineclaw and I…"

A flash of guilt and deep sorrow tore through me and I gasped. More tears poured from my eyes and dripped soundlessly to the ground. Leafpool's eyes hardened.

"Are you beginning to remember?"

I couldn't respond, so I nodded, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut tightly. Memories were flashing across my vision. Panic engulfed me as a wave of emotions crashed upon my heart and I found myself running, leaving Leafpool gazing after me.

I raced past memory after memory, glancing at them as I ran… There was Dawnpaw laughing with her friend Moonpaw. And Dawnpaw comforting Moonpaw. Then Moonpaw and her sister Lightpaw's warrior ceremony. Dawnpaw's medicine cat ceremony, and then Dawnflame with her mentor Hollysky. Dawnflame was hunting, Dawnflame was with Pineclaw, Dawnflame was watching her friends return from a battle with Shadowclan. Dawnflame was waiting for Pineclaw, sitting alone. Dawnflame was staring down at her stomach...

_No, No, No! I don't want to remember this!_

I skidded to a stop in front of a memory, which blocked my path. I stared up at it in horror. Leafpool appeared next to me.

"Don't look away, Dawnflame. You owe them this much."

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Dawnflame lay beneath the arching branches of an oak tree. She panted heavily, gritting her teeth against the painful spasms. A lump fell to the ground and Dawnflame glanced down at the small sac. Taking it in her teeth, she split the fine membrane open and started to lick the little kit. It coughed and began to breathe. She watched as it crawled to her stomach and began to suckle next to its littermate.

_Two kits…two half-clan kits._ Dawnflame thought dully.

She stared down at the little things as they nourished themselves on her milk. Her expression remained blank as she whispered.

"You are the only things I have left of him, you know. You are my one connection to Pineclaw. My only light in a world of darkness…"

She blinking and a drop of salty water splashed to the ground.

"So why...why did I do this to you?" She looked away from her kits and buried her head in her paws. "Why did I birth you into a world where you would shunned?! You're half-clan, with a medicine cat mother! No one will ever accept you…"

Dawnflame looked up at the sky. It was dark and clouded. The moon glowed with a misty light. There were no stars. Suddenly, Dawnflame stood, detaching her newly born kits, who opened their mouths wide in protest.

"Death would be a kinder fate…" Dawnflame whispered beneath her breath. She stared down at them. A she-kit, and a tom. _Names…they need names._

"Smokekit…" Dawnflame whispered, staring at the tom, "and Nightkit." She said to the she-kit. The mother swallowed with difficulty.

"You are both beautiful…and if your father were still here, perhaps you would have a home in Shadowclan… but no… no, they would not accept you, the blood in your veins is not worthy of acceptance." Dawnflame spat the last words. She swallowed again and shut her eyes, imagining her mate's face. "You'll be…you'll be happier with him."

She picked up the tom in her mouth, keeping her eyes closed tight, with tears streaming down her face. _You'll be happier in Starclan._ Dawnflame thought, and bit down hard. There was a faint crack, and the lifeless heap fell to the ground. Dawnflame was shaking. It was difficult to move, but she picked up Nightkit.. _I'm sorry._ And bit down.

"I can't watch! Don't make me watch, Leafpool!" I cried, backing away from the memory. "Please!"

"You did this to your kits, Dawnflame." Leafpool said.

"please…" I croaked.

"Did you really think death was the only option?!" Leafpool shouted.

I stared at her face. Rage was etched into her features, yet tears were in her eyes.

"When you are a mother, it is your _sole duty_ to care for your kits! You do _everything _you can to protect them! Even if they are shunned in Thunderclan or Shadowclan, it is up to you to BEAR THEIR BURDEN! Even if that means enduring pain _every day_, you do that for your kits! They would have found a place in their clan even after they were disgraced! My kits certainly did!"

I watched, shocked, as tears slipped down her face. The Starclan she-cat stood staring at me for a moment longer, then closed her eyes and straightened, regaining her composure. Although her voice cracked, her tone was flat and formal as she said,

"Dawnflame, your actions are unforgivable. You broke the warrior code, and killed two innocent kits."

My legs were shaking. I couldn't move.

"You are undeserving of your place among the stars. Undeserving of the loved ones you have left. Therefore, by the decision of all of Starclan, we sentence you to exile."

Leafpool finally opened her eyes, and in a soft voice said,

"Dawnflame, you served your clan well. Despite the loss of your kits, you returned and served as Thunderclan's medicine cat for seasons. I'm sorry to say that this does not pardon the acts you have committed…Goodbye…"

And with those words, the invisible ground beneath me seemed to vanish all together, and I fell.


End file.
